Hey, thanks for helping out, but you should have done it sooner. It actually IS your fault. What have you ever done for me anyway? Do these phrases sound familiar to your ears? These are very tiny examples of things that toxic people are likely to say.
We all have toxic people in our lives, and we all have suffered at their hands. Let me tell you something; the best way to deal with a toxic person is NOT to deal at all. Think of it as a natural disaster. You can’t avoid it or stop it, but you can only protect yourself from it. Toxic people rarely change. This is because their toxicity stems from deep-seated insecurities and trust issues which usually is related to childhood; something VERY hard to deal with or change.
So what can you do to minimize the effect of a toxic person on your life? Well, let’s look at a few ways.
1. Recognize the toxic person
The very first thing you need to do is to recognize a toxic person, or you might end up giving silent treatment to a sincere friend who was just trying to help. You can pick out the toxic person of the group by looking for traits such as whether they are pessimistic, mistrusting, judgmental, foul-mouthed, loud, obnoxious, manipulative, jealous etc. These are the most common traits which usually exist at the same time in a toxic person. If you have someone around you who likes to constantly blame you, point out your faults, never be happy with literally anything, always points out the dark side and never takes blame for anything, then that my friend is a toxic person. This could be anyone from your friends, family, co-workers or relatives even your best friend.
You can very obviously tell the difference between who is giving you productive criticism and who is just being a jackass. The funny thing is that you won’t have trouble identifying the toxic person since all their traits are very LOUD and NOTICEABLE (in a very annoying and disturbing way). Oh, also some of them love to sweet talk to your face, but as soon as you turn around, BAM goes the chivalry. Talk about sweet poison.
2. Have firm faith in yourself
The second thing you need to do is recognize thy faults and insecurities and be okay with them. I don’t mean that if you’re terrible at punctuality you should be proud of it too. No, for example if you’re lacking in physical traits or have an illness or disability etc. Toxic people fish for these weaknesses and are very good at pointing them out (loudly). They know exactly what makes you squirm and they love to make you. They are experts at rubbing salt and spice in the wound. This is basically them being insecure and as a defense mechanism making you insecure too. This way you won’t recognize what’s actually going on. In order to avoid becoming insecure, you need to be at peace with yourself. You should have complete control over your mind so no one can manipulate it except you.
3. Be silent but deadly
Like I mentioned, toxic people love arguing and making you insecure. They have a way with words. Your own words will be twisted around your neck and used to strangle you. They will confuse you so bad that you will look like a complete idiot in the end. They have an answer for everything. Their mind is doing what its good at. So here’s where the silent treatment comes in. If they are trying to mess with you, ignore. After a while, they lose interest because you’re not giving them ammunition to fire back with.
But, you should not keep silent at all times. If it’s a serious issue they’re blaming you for or making fun of, you must retaliate. These could be issues relating to ethics, religion, personal matters etc. Keep your ground. However, before you open your mouth, think a few steps ahead. Think about what they can say in return and what you can say after. After you make your point, resume silence. This is to let the toxic person and the people around you know that you’re not a pushover. This will make others respect you too. If your feelings have been hurt by a toxic person, click here for tips on how to deal with hurt feelings.
Stay tuned for part 2 ladies and gentlemen. If you have any more tips or personal experience to share, please do so in the comment section.
