- She’s getting old: See, she is aware that as the earth rotates around the sun, days form into weeks, weeks turn into months and months into years. She knows that every year, at her birthday, she is a year older than before. That time doesn’t make her age backwards. It’s not a news flash that she’s getting older.
- She’ll have trouble having kids: Thanks to the internet’s algorithm, she’s already seen a fair share of “Freeze your eggs!” advertisements. She is aware that her biological clock is ticking.
- There’s still that guy from the social circle who’s a perfect match and is also single: Trust me, she knows, he knows, everyone knows. There’s a legitimate reason why they aren’t together. Not everyone who you think will be perfect together will actually be.
- That she’s going to die alone: I don’t know why anyone would ever think that this is an OK thing to say to anyone. True, people sometimes say this to themselves, often preluded by a sarcastic or hopeless comment. But self-deprecation aside, this should never be used as a threat. And realistically speaking, most people, in a relationship or not, meet their end alone. Our thoughts will always be alone. We need to be comfortable with that.
- Mentioning her ex: Reminding her of her ex is tactless and unproductive. It accomplishes nothing and will actually be a drawback if she is trying to move on.
- She’s too “x” to be single: It is absolutely infuriating to have someone say, you’re too pretty, too educated, too sweet to be single. It’s insulting. Does that mean girls who are considered plain, do not have a doctorate or are impolite do not deserve to find love? I’ve seen fate play a larger role than any characteristic. If you want to compliment her, just say she’s very smart and end it at that.
- She’s too picky: How is it when applying for a school or picking an outfit, it’s okay to have standards and preferences. But when it comes to choosing a life partner, as long as they can walk and talk at the same time, it’s enough?
- The pool of eligible partners is shrinking: Again, she is well aware of this. Her facebook feed is filled with engaged status of girls much younger than her to guys much older. It’s a truth universally acknowledged. It’d be more tactful to poke her eyes out than wave that reminder around.
- How will she open the tight pickle jars: You know, there are appliances and grip cloths available at local stores for a cheap price that can open jars. Either that, or the girl in question can hulk out after hearing your concern and just smash the jar open.
- She’s not going to be happy: By this logic, happiness cannot be found in taking road trips, having picnics or reading good books. It is only found in picking wedding bands. Unfortunately, this idea of needing a man to have a happily ever after has been ingrained from an early age to young girls. The world has many more paths to happiness that constantly shift and evolve as we do. And if we can’t find happiness in ourselves, we can’t find it in any other person.
- She’s missing a major life milestone: There are plenty of milestones that are just as important or possibly even more fulfilling that are never as heavily pushed for as getting married. Graduations, financial independence and self acceptance are praiseworthy accomplishments and should be celebrated just as widely. She is whole and complete in her own sense.
- She’s better off single: I’m sure this seems like the apt thing to say after saying no to all the negative statements above. But society needs to realize that commenting on relationship status is not a healthy practice. It is not an accomplishment that needs rewarding. Relationships form and fall due to a myriad of reasons, a lot of which are not controllable. What needs to be rewarded and praised is happiness and good character. A happy couple celebrating their anniversary should be congratulated. But a single woman should not be deemed less than her married counterpart. She is just as worthy and whole. Sure, you can ask if she’s interested in a relationship and needs help, but offering unsolicited criticism does no good. Chances are she’s heard it all before. That concern can be taken elsewhere, perhaps to the long running soap opera or period dramas where romantic love conquers the plot.
